Music

I'm fairly certain I've rediscovered music many times throughout my life, and each time it never ceases to impact me in a profound way. The fact that music for me, a musician, even needs to be rediscovered is upsetting. I should just be constantly drenched in inspiration, right? Wrong. And I by now I should know that this idea is just a fantasy, but it doesn't make it any easier of a pill to swallow. As a musician I should also then, be a music-lover, constantly seeking new sources of inspiration, right? Wrong. After one learns too much about music itself, listening to music becomes more of an exercise. It loses all of its innocence. Because, who cares about what this person is feeling when they're performing; they hit a bad note, or used a cliche chord progression, or they only use 3 chords, right? Wrong. I can't tell you the last time I listened to the lyrics of the song, or just sit back and absorbed the sounds around me. I was too busy trying to figure out the chord progression or being a snob about how their guitar sounds.
Every now and then, though, something will happen to me that brings me back to that innocence. I'm feeling that way right now. My roommates are listening to rap right now, the same rap songs that we always listen to. But what I wanna do is lie in my room and listen to the music I just discovered this afternoon. This is something I wish I always felt. I so envy the people that feel that way all the time. I don't wanna lose the music again. I feel like I need to lock myself up in a shack in the middle of nowhere to get inspired, to get away from everything. The truth is, I just haven't listened in so long, the only voice I can hear is my own. It's no wonder I haven't felt inspired, I haven't let it happen. I haven't let myself be inspired; I've been too busy fighting music to let myself just enjoy it again. Music is pure; it's the most natural and true form of expression. What have I (and anyone else) been doing trying to make it into anything more?

Well, his has ended up going from a regular thought, to a full blown, rambling speech to myself, which I'm led to believe will be an ongoing trend. At any rate,  I think I'm gonna try to find the music again.

Good luck to those who are in this boat with me.